I spoke to a friend recently about the loss of a mutual friend. This person didn’t die, she was just lost to us. Our lives diverged — she got married, had kids & left her job, whereas we are unmarried, working and the closest we get to kids is with our nieces/nephews/godchildren. It became harder and harder to reach this friend because we’re both so busy, and we all longed for the good ole days. There was a time when we had weekly phone calls to catch up. Now we learn about each other’s lives via social media.
So I began thinking about this issue, and talking about it. Why is it so difficult to maintain close female relationships as adults? The folks I’ve spoken with are just as perplexed about the issue as I am. My mom had the same best friend from first grade, on up to adulthood. It was a second-generation friendship, started by their mothers, who were also best friends. Grandmom’s best friend loved her so much, that she named her youngest daughter after her.
Maybe it’s because we moved so much in my youth, but I have a different experience. I’ve been blessed to have a multitude of Best Friends, Sista Friends. There’s my oldest close friend, who is always great for going down memory lane and remembers me as the four-eyed geek I still am at heart. And then there’s my current crew: we don’t get together often, but when we do there’s lots of laughs and dream sharing. It would be difficult for me to pick a single, Best Friend. And that’s not a bad problem to have.
For this website, I want to explore Sista(er)hoods. In order to do that, I’m using my own vocabulary. A Sister is someone in your family, with at least one shared parent and a similar DNA. A Sista is someone outside your blood family, but is family just the same. Understand? For example, I’m an only child, but I have several Sistas. Some of us have Sisters that are also their Sistas. My plan is to write profiles of women from both groups, and see what they have to have say. I guess you could call them love stories.