I’ve been the new kid a time or two in my life, so I know how difficult it is to make new friends. But it is just as tough as an adult. When you’re a kid, you at least have a few common interests – the same class/teacher, too much homework, schoolyard drama. You could go up to someone and say “Wanna play?” and then be best friends for life. (Or you could be told to go to hell and get pelted with rocks, but that’s another story for another day.)
Yet as an adult, things are different. All you have is work. And it’s often difficult to muster up the desire to spend more time with folks after already putting in 40 + hours a week. And through day-to-day activities, you can’t just go up to somebody and say, ‘Hi there, will you be my friend?’ Sure you could try that, but the results could be disastrous.
Unlike pursuing a romantic relationship, the friendship realm requires a different type of finesse. You need someone with the similar values, ie sarcasm, childish humor, Harry Potter, web serials and a thirst for online shopping bargains. Good hygiene and an appreciation for fine dining establishments like IHOP, are an added bonus.
There were a few times when the direct approach worked with me. When I moved to a new town and learned of a coworker in another dept who was from my state, I called her up and invited her to lunch. When I attended a networking session and exchanged business cards with a woman my age, she called me up later and pretty much asked me to be her friend. Both efforts worked and I had good times hanging out with both of them. Yet I’ve lost touch with them since then.