Bad Friend? Blame My Phone

It’s time for me to admit it. I’m a fraud.

As much as I promote sista(er)hood, girl power and how women need each other, I should make this confession.

I’m a bad friend.

I don’t mean bad in the sense that I’m a vindictive, backbiting and just all around horrible person. I mean ‘bad’ in the sense that I don’t do my part in the relationship.

You see, I’m bad at staying in touch. These days, the thought of actual talking on the telephone is no longer appealing. There was a time when I loved nothing more than talking on the phone. As soon as I walked in the door, I’d grab the phone and slap it onto my ear. I’d talk for hours about nothing. And when I did release it, my ear was practically sticking to the phone.

That was in my teenage and college years, back before the advent of cell phones. Being connected to a land line allowed me to catch up on the juiciest gossip and wax poetic on all aspects of my life.

Things are different now that I operate simply on a cell phone. My phone allows me to compose the most elaborate text messages about my favorite breakfast cereal, update my Facebook status with my frustrations about being on Netflix’s neverending waitlist for Game of Thrones and get triple word scores by playing ‘Ganja’ in Words With Friends. but talking is a challenge.

I can do everything but talk on my phone.

These days, telephone communication is a battle of wills and patience. If you are on the phone with me, I’ll laugh alot, which has caused problems in the past. My (semi) chubby cheeks have pushed buttons, ended conversations and even gone through my address book and contacted folks in other states. Not fun.

And my company has been upgrading a cell phone tower in my area for the past 9574950349548 months, resulting in a bunch of dropped calls. I also talk fast, and so do most of my friends.We wind up talking at the same time, shouting out sentences that are lost in the static-y, cell phone universe.

Thankfully, my friends, particularly my Sistas, are patient with my developing Phone Phobia. I’m sure it’ll get resolved. In the meantime, I’m always up for a game of Words With Friends.